Archive for New Language

What the hell do you actually mean?

Boss

The English are so polite that it sometimes takes them 2 minutes to ask for something – ‘would you be kind enough to pass the salt’ vs. ‘pass the salt’. One can easily code that as the ‘politest’ way of asking for salt. I just feel they were exposed to elaborate vocabulary since they were in kindergarten and they can make the most derogatory things sound charming.

Either that or they are just good at masking the reality well and confusing the hell out of others. The translation guide below serves as a reference point for anyone visiting England.

So, I was wondering if there could have been parallels to this in India and I decided to attempt this for the Indian corporate world. In general, an Indian boss would never mince words and exactly say what he wants to say. But, there are days when he tries to play nice, because there is some foreigner in the office and he cannot be seen as a typical Indian boss. In any case, an Indian subordinate always knows when he is being tricked.

What do you think?

 

Reality of Relocation

It has just been 3 weeks since I left Mumbai and technically moved to London, but actually spending more time in this little village called Fuschl outside Salzburg in Austria. No kidding. Feels like much longer, as I have spent most of my time in airports, woken up in strange rooms, eaten food I don’t recognise and more than anything, struglled to identify where home is. I tried to carry my sleeping bag everywhere, something familiar to cling on to.

So, I sat and made a list of things that have changed drastically in my life and have shaken me from my comfort zone.

Home. Familiarity of my apartment in Mumbai. The feeling of waking up with the sun on my face, having the coffee sitting on the window ledge, avoiding neighbours who I never bothered meeting. Everything was way too comfortable. New apartment in London – where everything is still too cold and strange. Where it took us ages to get nails up on walls to hang photos. Where the bar is a bookshelf converted into a bar. Where the TV is too far from the bed. Funnily, it is not London I’ve spent all that much time. The hotel room in Fuschl takes the cake. Set right next to the lake (everything in Fuschl is next to the lake), it is what one would imagine as the perfect little place for a holiday. Only difference, everything doesn’t look all that pretty when you keep checking your Blackberry and working every minute. Back to the hotel room, its basic. Pillows are soft, I love it. I don’t watch any TV, everything is in German. Hot shower. Great breakfast. What’s the dilemma. Last couple of days, I’ve been waking up wondering whether it is 6 30 am or 7 30 am, with the time difference between UK and Austria, snoozing till the time the location hits me. All in all, whether it is Caledonian Road or Downtown Fuschl as they call it, its all still alien. The only thing familiar about it is I dont know my neighbours in any city.

Commuting. I never thought I would say this. But, I miss the autos in Mumbai. No, I do not miss the honking. No, I do not miss the insane Andheri East traffic jams. Yes, I miss the 24 / 7 convenience of finding these little autos everywhere. In London, I’m married to the Tube and before I know it, I would be saying ‘Mind the Gap’ as a part of my regular vocabulary. In Fuschl, where it would take anyone not more than 10 minutes to explore the entire village walking, I have no option. Well, I can’t drive in Europe. Yet. So, I walk, everywhere. And, the rain Gods have this uncanny way of sending their blessings my way the minute I step out. So, do I miss the autos. Hell yeah!

Supermarkets. As ridiculous as it may sound, I love simplicity. I hate choice. I would be the one who would always ask for coffee, when I am thrown coffee jargons like decaf, skim milk, brown sugar, blah blah. Same with grocery stores or supermarkets. Between the unbelievable choice in the Tescos and Sainsbury’s of London (a 100 different types of cheese, cereal, yoghurt, sauces and so on) to the unfamiliarty of German packaging, if I manage to find a supermarket open after 6 pm in Austria, I know one thing. I miss Prabhat Provision Stores and the free home delivery of anything under the sun. I miss the lady in Pali vegetable market who would happily discuss her life over 200 gms of Paneer.

Language. You would be surprised. In London, they speak English right. You bet they do. How come I still don’t get it when they say it the first time? Indian accent. British accent. Howjsay it? Whatchamacallit? And, as for Austria, forget it. I can say Servus, which means Hello and Byebye. I can say Malzeit. That’s what you say before you eat. Kind of like Bon Appetit. I can say Bitte, which means please. That’s my language status. Pathetic. Between trying to understand the British and learning beginner’s German, I honestly feel like swearing in Hindi. And, thats what I really miss.

Timepass. As it is such a common word back home, I felt that this would be the best way to describe it. The one thing about Mumbai was knowing exactly what was going on everywhere, what are the places to hang out, eat, drink and so on. It had taken me almost 8 years to feel like a local. Then, we get to the topic of London. Just the sheer magnitude of things to do and places to go to is mindboggling. I don’t even know where to begin. Someone told me, check out Beer in the evening for pubs,  Last Minute Theatre Tickets for Broadway… then, I started looking up stuff on the internet and found the Timeout Top 50 sites in London. Its a maze. Then, there is Austria, to be specific Fuschl. One lake. Few hotels. Very few restaurants. Hardly any markets. One gym. Lot of paths to walk around. Yes, that’s all I can do. Walk. Walk. Walk. If the weather favours me that is. Right now, I am an armchair traveler, virtually getting to know my cities even before I get the courage to step out. Baaaaaah! What I would do for one beer at Totos.

Food. Where do I even begin? From the comfort kitchen of Ashaji where the rotis and sabji was warm and ready to the 101 restaurants that were always open, I’m eating Snickers bars from vending machines in Fuschl. Life ends here when it gets dark. If I actually get out of office in time to head to the restaurant, I need to think of all the German menus and order what sounds easy to pronounce.  London is not such a problem. Tesco Ready to eat has become Roys best friend. I make omlette and stir fry vegetables in less than 10 minutes. We have discovered the best cheap wines, not that we know good wine from bad wine. Either way, till I find some stability in my eating pattern, it just feels like I’m one one long gastronomical adventure not doing any justice to my waistsize.

Capoeira. The less said, the better. Capoeira in India was life. Between the hundreds of schools in London and the only gym in Fuschl which offers Yoga and Pilates, Ive become bloody lazy. I need Baba (my capoeira teacher in India) to kick my butt once and get me started here.

People. And, finally, it just boils down to one thing. Friends. Family. There isn’t even a comparison point with London and Austria. Mumbai is Mumbai. And, I miss all the blokes who made life so much fun.

Having said that, I’m leaving you with a snapshot of life in Austria so far. A random collection of photos to show you what my life looks like now. I have to say I love it.

My temporary home in Austria – Hotel Mohrenwirt

Apfelstrudel – the only thing I’ve learnt how to pronounce with no issue.

The walk to office … the beautiful lake….

The office…. I am not kidding. It is not a resort.

Signing off in Austrian style – Servus !

Lebanese Gangsta and fake British accents!

On my recent trip to Britain, I did some unimaginable and unaffordable stuff like stay in posh hotels, get a spa treatment, eat in fine dining places, get private tours of palaces et all. Mind you, luxury is an understatement. I have to thank Visit Britain for that. Before I write 2000 words about royal holidays, here is a sneak preview of the most memorable part of my trip.

It is not some monument or place or restaurant or anything like that. It is ‘Mo’, the Lebanese Gangsta I met traveling there. No surprises. The best part about traveling is meeting people. This is not a great travel quote or wisdom. This is as basic as it gets.

Mo, originally Lebanese, brought up in the US of A, currently living in Dubai has somehow managed to master the British accent and use it very properly. ‘How are you my dear?’ and ‘Would you like a cuppa hot chocolate’ is still fresh in my memory. If there is one person with whom I could be politically incorrect about all things oh-so-proper and British, it was with this guy.

So, here is to Mo’s funny video and blowing my own trumpet a little bit.

The Great Welsh Showdown – Day 1 – On my way to becoming a Welsh Scholar…

It took us about 3 hours to head from our hotel in London to our language class in Wales. How efficient can traveling be in Britain? Train from Paddington Station in London to Cardiff was just about 2 hours and all the taxi rides put together didn’t take more than 10 minutes. I think we spent longer trying to take group pictures.

Free tickets :)
The 6 travel bloggers and the 2 organisers who are paying for us :)

So….. Croeso i Cymru, Croeso i Caerdydd – Welcome to Wales, Welcome to Cardiff. And Welcome to Day 1 of Backpacking Ninja’s adventures in Wales.

You may think I am exaggerating when I am comparing learning a language to an adventure. But, hold on a sec. As an Indian, I am sure every one of us thinks learning a languge is a piece of cake just because we speak on an average 3 languages and can read more than 3 different scripts. Wait till you check out Welsh.

Our lesson focussed on learning Welsh Basics. The usual Hi, Hello, How are you, What is your name, Can I have a coffe please, can I have a beer please, Goodbye, Thank you and so on. When Delyth (our Welsh teacher) started by telling us this is all we would learn, I thought it sounded very simple.

Then, she spoke in Welsh – Shwmae! Shwd yeh chi? Beth yw’ch enw chi?
(Look at her… she is at ease when she is speaking)

Delyth – Our Welsh Language Teacher in action !

My picture is not worth putting up here. It was very pale and shocked. New language lightning struck me.

Shwmae! Shwd yeh chi? Beth yw’ch enw chi?
What the hell does this mean?

1. She had not said anything very complicated. That just means Hi, How are you?, What is your name?
2. The way it is pronounced is Shooo my, Should he key?, Beth you-gh e new key?
3. It takes around 15 repetitions before you get Hi, maybe 25 for How are you…. you get the drift.
4. All that resulted in temporary paralysis. Tri coffi did the job (3 coffees did the job).

Anyway, I don’t want to run you guys through the nuances, grammar, tenses, gender, conjugation et all. Instead, I’ll tell you the funniest facts about the Welsh language and why I think Indians could potentially be Welsh scholars. Here goes -

1. Only 25% of people in Wales speak Welsh. With 3 million population, thats just 0.75 million speaking Welsh. If even 0.1% of the Indian population learn Welsh, there would be more Indians speaking Welsh than Welsh and we can move to Wales to teach Welsh. Afterall, it is so difficult for Indians to get Teach English jobs, since Americans (who don’t even speak English) are given priority. There might just be hope for us in the British job market, other than opening Indian restaurants.

2. Good morning is Bore – da and Good evening is Prynhawn – da. As a South Indian who uses enna da, po da (Da is a fond way to refer to a friend in Tamil) and as a Bengali who uses Dada (Brother) all the time, we are almost there when it comes tousing the Welsh da. So, we should be able to pick up the language.

3. There is only 1 Television Channel in all of Wales, that is in Welsh language. Imagine that. With Indians potentially becoming Welsh teachers, there is a future business model for Star Welsh or Zee Welsh. Ekta’s new serial -  ‘Croeso i Cymru’ written as ‘Kroeso i Kymru’.

4. They say Welsh is complicated as it has alphabets like Ll (double l), which is pronounced as ‘thl’ rolling the tongue a bit. Hmmm, what about ksa, jna, tka, sra and so on in Hindi script to name a few.

And with hundreds more in all the other Indian languages, rolling the tongue would hardly be an issue. We can even speak full Welsh sentences with Laddoos stuffed in our mouth or Banarasi pans.

5. Who has heard of Gummiddipoondi and Jhumritalaiya. Those are small towns in North and South India. We love these complicated sounds, don’t we? Please check out this video, a trailer of the the most complicated town name in Welsh.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuwmJszP4Kg&hl=en&fs=1]

Yeah, the town is called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
It means The church of St. Mary in the hollow of white hazel trees near the rapid whirlpool by St. Tysilio’s of the red cave. Phew! In short, they call this town Llanfair. But, I still love the long name. Click here to go to the towns website.

Alls well that ends well. We had a blast indeed. Classes were done by 2 and we also managed to beat Brechdanau or lunch.As exotic as it sounds, it’s just sandwich. Look at those satisfied Welsh smiles. Grinnnnnn.

Welsh Scholars from Asia

So, are you convinced? If you are, you can start your Welsh lessons today. Since I am not back in India, I can’t start classes. For now, go to Google Translator (English to Welsh translation) and learn these three things -

1. I will plan a holiday to Wales very soon
2. I love Backpacking Ninja and will buy her free tickets to travel with me
3. Kyunki ek ninja bhi kabhi cubicle mein thi

…..a os gwel
wch yn dda….
(….. And please…..)

Once you are done with these basic lessons, drop in a comment in Welsh on this blogpost of mine and you may just be the one to receive a postcard from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

The Llanfair lessons

Hwy! Bye!
Go drink some Chai.

…. and for more Cardiff dope, keep checking here……

Lost in Translation.. Lost in Pronunciation too..

If you think that the challenge is learning a foreign language, think again. That’s actually the easy part. Try flying to a continent, where supposedly you need to know only 2 languages – Spanish and Portuguese. Who are you kidding? The way in which Spanish is spoken in Argentina is way different from Colombia and different from Chile and so on.. and the Spanish in South America and the Spanish in Spain is different too… the way in which Portuguese is spoken in every part of Brazil seems to be different…. and I don’t think the Portuguese from Portugal understand any of the Portuguese from Brazil…

Its crazy… Rio De Janeiro is pronounced as Hio de janeiro in Brazil and Rio de Haneiro in other parts of South America. Pollo (chicken) is pronounced as Poyyo in some countries, Pojo in some and Posho in some….

I really should not complain coming from India. Imagine the poor tourist in India. After every couple of hours of traveling, the language changes.. the script too…

Coming back to South America, its more than three and a half months since I landed in South America. I’ve been making a conscious effort to learn the language…. If God paid me for effort, I would be able to sponsor my next trip.

Anyway, why am I writing this post now…. after so long… Just 2 weeks back, I spoke for 7 minutes on the phone with a Police officer in Rio De Janeiro Airport about renewing my visa. Totally in Portuguese. Phew! I am serious. If you do not believe me, check with my friend Aarti. She witnessed the whole conversation. And today, I did something even more outrageous… I called a friend in the United States and left an angry voice mail in Portuguese. All in Portuguese. So, I think Im finally getting the hang of how Portuguese works… Well, I’ve used a couple of techniques for learning the language. Just thought it might be interesting….

Rule No 1 – Do not get psyched by people who are ‘natural born language learners’. Por exemple, my travel partner Neesha was learning to say words like extraordinary, probable, destiny, etc when I was still stuck with Good morning and Thank you. She is incredible with languages. Right now, she is headed further North and I am sure she already knows the dialect there.

Rule No 2 – Watch movies and tv. In South America, they have all the international channels and subtitles in Portuguese and Spanish. As you listen to English, read the subtitles. That’s a very fast way of picking up words. In about 1/2 hour, you can learn close to 30 words atleast. Ofcourse, if you are watching some real trash, then you will learn swear words earlier than anything.

Rule No 3 – Buy a dictionary before heading out. Phrasebooks and Teach yourself books won’t get you anywhere. With a dictionary and South America in front of you, you can translate anything – billboards, menu cards, flyers, etc. That way, you will start learning. Fast trackers can buy books in that language and start reading. For me, I am just still reading billboards.

Rule No 4 – Listen to people. Then, talk to people. Irrespective of how horrible you sound, just try to talk. It doesn’t pay to be shy. Hang out with people who don’t speak English… you’ll be forced to learn. And then, when you feel like its too much, hang out with people who dont speak the language you are trying to learn. Whatever you have learnt will be more than what they know and they will probably land up complimenting you and that will only make you feel more charged to learn the language. Psychological feel good tips to learning.

Rule No 5 – Start with simple things and important things. For me, my objective was to learn everything that I needed to learn to save myself in a coffeeshop. On day 1, it took me a frustrating 7 minutes to order coffee and I got really upset. That charged me to pick up coffee stuff. Today, I can walk into a shop and say ‘Cafe sem leche por favor…’ with confidence. Can also ask for ‘coffee to go’, ‘with or without sugar’, ‘how much it costs’, ‘double shot with water on the side’, etc. Its been a real challenge, but if you meet me in a coffee shop, you’ll think I am Brazilian.

Rule No 6 – Decide what your style is. Do you want to be the ‘Wren and Martin’ type or the ‘Sign language type’ or the ‘Word by word type’. To explain further, the ‘Wren and Martin types’ learn everything in a grammatically perfect manner. The sign language varieties use some words and the rest are just gestures and expressions. The word by word type is like join the dots… For eg: Eu, Centro, Bus, Onde means I, Centro, Bus, Where… which actually means I need to go to Centro…. Where can I get a bus… It works.. People understand.. People are glad you are atleast making an effort…

Rule No 7 – Listen to music… Music is one of the best ways to pick up the language… try and choose your favourite songs and look up the translation on the internet… its an interesting way to learn… this also helps you learn some romantic words… (since most of the songs anyway have some romance in them.. its Latin America)

Rule No 8 – Write letters in that language. I spent about 2 hours and wrote one paragraph. Then, I decided it would be good to begin with postcards.

Rule No 9 – Learn some nuances… for example, in Brazil, everything is pronounced with this sounds ‘chee’… Internet is internechee…. Citibank is Cicheebankee…. Hip Hop is Hippee Hopeee… Samba Rock is Samba Hockee… and the Portuguese equivalent of ly in english is mente… Actually is actualmente…. normalmente.. generalmente… facilemente… so, when you are stumped, you can use mente and you will be fine.

Rule No 10 – No more rules….. Just, learn to say ‘I love you’ in the language. If you don’t know anything, you can survive with romance. That’s my latest theory about life.