Archive for Work

What the hell do you actually mean?

Boss

The English are so polite that it sometimes takes them 2 minutes to ask for something – ‘would you be kind enough to pass the salt’ vs. ‘pass the salt’. One can easily code that as the ‘politest’ way of asking for salt. I just feel they were exposed to elaborate vocabulary since they were in kindergarten and they can make the most derogatory things sound charming.

Either that or they are just good at masking the reality well and confusing the hell out of others. The translation guide below serves as a reference point for anyone visiting England.

So, I was wondering if there could have been parallels to this in India and I decided to attempt this for the Indian corporate world. In general, an Indian boss would never mince words and exactly say what he wants to say. But, there are days when he tries to play nice, because there is some foreigner in the office and he cannot be seen as a typical Indian boss. In any case, an Indian subordinate always knows when he is being tricked.

What do you think?

 

Seven things to make me happy!

Yemanja

Three years ago, I spent New Year’s Eve amidst two million people at Rio de Janeiro’s Copacabana beach.  As unbelievable fireworks lit up the sky, I watched the Cariocas all dressed in white, carrying candles and partaking in one of the age old traditions, or should I call it must-do superstitions of the night.  They jumped over seven waves and made seven wishes, before thousands of flowers were then thrown into the sea in honour of Lemanjá, the Queen of the Ocean, as the first spiritual offering of the year.

That wasn’t the end of the festivities, rather the beginning of a long wild night, where I got sucked into the Brazilian spirit of Cachaca drinking and samba dancing. Lively and loud, hardly an atmosphere to conjure up meaningful wishes, I reserved my seven wishes for later.  It looks like it took quite a while but I’ve finally decided on how I plan to redeem the wishes. Here they are and hope Lemanjá is listening -

1. Sometime in life, I want to teach Capoeira. I don’t know when. I don’t know whether I’ll be good enough. All I know is that I want to be able to share something I love so much with others and see the sparkle in their eyes as well.

2. I want to discover Africa. Not like a 2 week trip to some safari or the desert. I want to live in those small villages, wake up worried in borders, be lost in the wilderness for days, dance to the beats of drums and soak in the culture. Someday.

3. I want to delete all my social media accounts one day. Just disappear from the internet. (My blog is the only exception to this)

4. I will keep sending postcards in hope that someday, I’ll receive just as many. (I guess the problem is that no one knows my real address, but we can deal with that later. If they had the intention of sending me a postcard, they would’ve figured it out).

5. I will take my mom on a backpacking trip somewhere.

6. I will eventually work for myself or do something on my own.

7. This one wish – I want to keep reserved for a rainy day. Who knows when we go through that?

Vacation Out of Office

Out of Office Message 1

I will be out of office from 29.08.2011 to 02.09.2011. Please get in touch with xyz incase of anything urgent.

Kind Regards,
Me (when I really care about keeping the job)

Out of Office Message 2

I will be out of office because I’ve decided to take this late holiday that I deserve.  In the time period that I’m enjoying the sun, your emails will be deleted and I will come back to a clutter free inbox on 05.09.2011. Do not bother getting in touch with anyone else in my absence as they will probably mess up the work and I’ll have to do double work when I am back. 5 days won’t really change anything. Just wait.

If you cannot wait and you can manage to complete this work without my intervention, it would be brilliant. That just makes me wonder why you mailed me in the first place anyway.

Cheers,
Me

Permanent Out of Office

If Out of Office Message 2 gets me fired, I’ll probably have more time to travel anyway.

Travel Bloggers and Powerpoint

This is a travel blog. Yes. But, this is also a travel blog run by a corporate slave.

The last two months have been about Powerpoint presentations more than anything else.  And, I have done one presentation over and over and over again. So much that I don’t remember what was the story I was trying to tell in the first place. I don’t hate powerpoint. I hate it with all my life.

Don’t get me wrong. I really think it is probably a very cool invention. It looks quite beautiful – pictures, flying effects, transitions et all. But, in a nutshell, I think it is for people who lack the ability to communicate.

I still remember my Grandfather’s scribbles on my History textbook, drawing little maps of kingdoms and territories won over by kings. He was a super cool communicator. I remember my hockey coach showing game plays on sand. So on and so forth. They did not need Powerpoint to make a point.

All this got me thinking about why I hate it so much. Well, for starters, imagine I were to use Powerpoint as a tool to make my travel blogging or traveling better. What would happen?

Situation – My holiday to Egypt.

Step 1 – How I plan to take some cheap flights to Egypt. Show a slide with a faded world map with just your country and Egypt highlighted. Then, transition this to hundreds of colourful logos of various airlines around the world. They will slowly emerge from the map. Then, a bright colourful ugly chart pops up (graph ideally) showing the pricing of airlines. Then, out of all the logos, a few disappear (faded zoom) and the ones that are really cheap stay. Then, in a bright box, you type the key message – Such a long distance to go. But, very few cheap flights to get there. From that, you can switch slides and show a troubled backpacker with no money. That is me. Then, you switch pack to a the slide with minimal logos and knock them out one by one till the cheapest one stays on the screen. Point made.

Step 2 – Searching for hotels to stay. A creative presenter will go all visual and show images of the hotel rooms, facilities like swimming pools, sauna, beautiful balcony views, the food et all. The number cruncher will show the satisfaction graph on parameters like comfort, food, price, friendliness of staff, ratings. The combination presenter will merge graphs and pictures and highlight the key message with ugly bullet points. In my case, I would have probably shown one slide which shows the benefits of staying in a hotel and the benefits of staying with a family and quickly transitioned to a picture of a local family (very happy one with open arms welcoming me) and made the point – No hotels.

Step 3 – What to see in Cairo? Powerful images of Cairo zoom in from all corners showing the Islamic quarter, the Coptic area, the Pyramids of Giza… et all. They appear and turn transparent one by one, creating this crazy collage of faded pictures of a city. Then, in a psychedelic box, you have a key message about ‘So many places to see. So little time’.  And, God forbid you want to run your idea past someone, it won’t be that easy afterall. They might have a say in the animation order or the fading effects. You get the drift.

What can make all this worse? If you write your story about Egypt, and someone changes it to look like it was a story about Venezuela.

It would take probably a couple of hours to put this presentation together and then many many variations before you can get the point across.

My readers would stop visiting my blog and if there was something on the internet available to block websites, they would do that as well. All this if they did not already fall victim to ‘death by powerpoint’.

In the end, I’ve made up my mind that Travel blogging cannot be enhanced by Powerpoint. This is compeletely my point of view. Infact, if you spend all day making powerpoint presentations, you can probably use the power of blogging to vent about it or travel somewhere to avoid it all together.

Please imagine the last paragraph is in font size 72.

Workaholic Traveholic

Generally, you would have expected a ‘I’m high on Capoeira’ or ‘I’m high on travel’ post from me. Today, I am high on work. I guess you feel that when you have productive days and want to put in another couple of hours. I have now no issues admitting that I am a certified workaholic just like I’m a certified traveholic. So, here are 5 random observations about how stuff I do for work influenced the way I travel and vice versa.

1. I love excel sheets.  Irrespective of how often I’ve tried using Word or Powerpoint or anything else for that matter, I keep going back to my excel sheets. If you cannot figure out excel features, try putting your holiday itinerary and learning how to sort, filter, run pivot tables based on locations and it is a piece of cake. Work or travel, this is one tool you have to learn to love.

Tip – Plan everything in the excel sheet but don’t overdo it like me. I wrote a letter in an excel sheet once.

2. Your day or week or month can fit in a bag. Yes, I am not a two bag person. I’ve seen people carry their laptop bag and their tiny purse / handbag, etc to work. I have to fit everything I need for the day into one bag. Likewise, for travel, I need to fit everything into one backpack. You don’t realize the freedom that comes with this. (Ever tried reaching out for your credit card from tiny purse, tucked into your laptop bag, when you are balancing your suitcase on the other hand)

Tip – One bag policy. If you have a lot of stuff, just get a bigger bag.

3. Choose what you love. Yup! If you don’t really fancy Belarus, no one forced you to go there on vacation. I guess that’s why there is freedom in travel and you can choose Brazil. It’s the same for work. Choose what you love to do. Choose your job. Choose your decisions. Choose your work style.

Tip -  You don’t get to choose your boss. And, if any current or future bosses of mine are reading this – you guys are great :)

4. Let go sometimes. I learnt a cool technique from a colleague today. Its called the 5 minute technique. When shit is hitting the roof, switch off and normally, 30% of the issues will settle down and you’ll be left only with 70% to solve. Interesting way to deal with work. I guess when it comes to travel, you can’t control everything. You plan and plan and still the bus may be late, your credit card may get stolen. You just have to let go. The unexpected is what makes travel beautiful. If you can take the shit that comes your way at work with the same philosophy, life would be so easy.

Tip – If the shit piles up too much, quit your job. I did that once.

5. Money is just a word. Don’t work for money. Don’t take any travel decisions based on money. If you want to go somewhere real bad and you don’t have the money, you’ll still figure it out. If you have too much money, you may still want to spend less just to get the down to earth experience. Either way, money is just a word and I’ve learnt that you make things stretch more and the experience work for you when you have less of it. Whether it is brand budgets or holiday budgets, it all works out in the end.

Tip – Same the small change for a rainy day.

Signing off, Workaholic Traveholic.